Having just read my last post I'm struck by how different things actually are now.
Now, I know you're not supposed to write these things when you're emotional and having just been informed that I've lost my grandad I'd say that my better judgement is telling me to put the phone down (as always, writing this on an iPhone) and go for a nice walk somewhere. The only thing is that after getting the ferry to st Malo in France and hiking all the way to the campsite with my backpack that was starting to resemble several baby elephants in weight and finding it closed, ringing a taxi to take me to the other campsite which was miles in the other direction to have the taxi driver say it's closed (even though when I checked the website it said it was open year round but then again so did the first one) so I ask the taxi driver to take me to a cheap hotel which he does although I wouldn't call 35 euros a night for somewhere that doesn't have a toilet or a shower in the room cheap but there we go. Plus this hotel is miles out from the historic centre of st Malo and is in the middle of an industrial estate I've got to say that my patience which is never been my strong point anyway is stretched to breaking point. Coupled with the fact that every time I leave the hotel I am confronted by actual open mouth staring from virtually everyone. Now I know that by having pink dreds I probably invited it but seriously, have none of these people ever seen a hippy before seeing as they live in a tourist area?! Rude bastards.
This gets me to my point. I actually haven't forgiven Marian for what she's done. If it wasn't for her I would be living somewhere quite happily and I wouldn't have been forced to give up my animals. The one I'm most upset about is my cat Edward who had to go to the cats protection when she made me homeless.
This is what actually happened and Marian, if by any chance you do read this, by way of apology if you could just wipe yourself off the planet like the stain that you are that would probably save a lot of people a lot of heartache and STDs.
When Marian's wife had enough of Marian screwing everyone else in a five mile radius she understandably got upset and from what Marian says went off on one (but we have since realised that Marian will lie to make people feel sorry for her and get what she wants) so like a mug I let her stay in my conservatory while she sorted herself out. Meanwhile my housemate was moving out so I asked Marian if she wanted to move in as there was about four months left on the tenancy agreement. She agreed and life seems good, we get on alright apart from when she has very loud porn star sex sessions all night. The only concern I had was that she said she couldn't sign a tenancy agreement from the letting agent as her credit rating was dire so she'd need a guarantor and she also didn't have the money to pay the agency fees involved. Ok said I. That's fine (idiot! But then you don't expect someone you've known for about twelve years and helped put a roof over their head to screw you over so badly) but I told her that if she was going to go it would have to be at the end of a tenancy agreement as I couldn't afford the place by myself. I made this very clear. I could not afford the place by myself. So, when the tenancy agreement was coming to an end I started looking for somewhere to live that I could afford by myself and I remember coming home and telling the whore that I'd found somewhere really cheap and would she be ok. She replied (and these were her exact words) "if you move out, I'm screwed, I've got nowhere else to go" exact words. Now being a good friend (and I used to be a lovely person before I started hating and mistrusting everyone) I said why don't we sign for another six months? She said that would help a lot so it was agreed that we would stay for another six months. I told her in no uncertain terms that she must stay for six months as again, I could not afford that place on my own. This was agreed and everything carried on until three months in she says "by the way I'm going to Canada"
Oh lovely, I think, you could do with a holiday, you've gone through the mill a bit until she says she's going for three months. Er....hang on where does that leave me? Up shit creak actually. She says she'll pay until the end of December. Does that happen? No. She says she'll help find someone else to move in. Does this happen? No. What happens is she gradually moves all the stuff she wants to keep out and leaves the key at the bottom of the stairs and fucks off. On my birthday no less. Yeah. Thanks for everything you've done for me ally, happy birthday and fuck you.
So begins the task of finding someone who wants to move in over the Christmas period and cancelling all the holiday I had booked just so I can work to try and pay for the place until I find someone. I rehome two cats and my snakes as I just can't afford them and I'm trying desperately to keep Edward (my number one cat as I'd had him the longest and he was my boy) and Ringo the dog. The day arrives when I have to tell the letting agent if I want to carry on the contract and I have to tell them no. Only trouble is, I have to give two months notice to move out. I struggle on trying to cope with the added financial burden but in the end have to write to the letting agent to ask if they can find someone to move in earlier as I just can't afford it. To their credit they do and I can move out but all of this has meant that I have no money for a new deposit so I am homeless until I can save that. Now is the time that my beloved cat Edward had to go to the cats protection for rehoming and my poor blind little pirate dog had to go and live with the parents who as much as they like him, he is an annoyance to them. I hope you're proud of yourself Marian.
So I tell myself that I can turn this around, I can make something positive come from this. I have no animals anymore, no responsibility so lets go travelling. Which is how come I'm sat in a dingy hotel room being stared at by the locals feeling that no vengeance is ever going to be enough for what that girl has put me through. How my trust in people has been forever diminished because she had to go and fuck this guy in Canada and couldn't wait three measley months to do it. That's why I'm here and not at home with my beautiful boys.
So no, I have not forgiven her.
Lets hope some of the art in Paris reminds me of the beauty in the world because from where I'm standing its pretty hard to see.