Published writer

Well, today has been a great day despite the fact that I am still sat on the sofa in my pajamas. Today was the day that Gallery magazine came out with my article printed in it! Exciting news huh?
Not anything that I print on this blog because lets face it, this is just rambling and occasionally fairly rude, not for the likes of Gallery magazine but my other blog, which I hope you are all following as religiously as this one! Yeah right.
My Ringo meets blog started out with Rick Jones, gotta love him hey. He has done everything in his hairy tattooed power to help me out on this island which makes him awesome in my book so go and download his album. It's on i-tunes and it's really very good. The last post was Brave Yesterday who are also very good. They bring some decent rock music to Jersey thank god (That's not a typo,I didn't put that in capitals because god doesn't exist. Now you can all laugh at me if I get shot down in a great big ball of fiery flames but that's not going to happen cos he doesn't exist). AND, they want me to write another piece which is just flat out kissing Johnny Depp with tongues awesome. And I put his name in capitals because he does exist. Makes sense now doesn't it? I knew you'd catch on because you're all clever people.
Lot's has happened since I last wrote anything. For one thing, I have decided to leave the rock (again not Dwayne Johnson, the island of Jersey) and head back to the land of students, my friends and some kick ass music. No not London, Southampton. I have decided to give up veterinary nursing and go back to being a penniless student. My parents are so proud. NOT!
They can't understand why I would give up a perfectly respectable job to be a smelly student but here's why;

1. As a student I don't run the risk of being bitten by a dog, cat or angry seal.
2. Therefore, will not have to take antibiotics which will
3. kill me. True story. The last time I took antibiotics my skin fell off. I went to the doctor and asked him what I could do about it and he told me that all I could do was stop it itching by bathing in baby oil so not only was I red, flaky and scabby, I was also oily and greasy. Not my finest hour I can tell you.
4. I will be broke but only through my own volition and not having to work ridiculous hours in order to be broke. There is a silver lining there, you just really have to want to see it.
5. I won't be spoken to like a village idiot or naughty school girl.
6. If I am spoken to like a village idiot or naughty schoolgirl, I can punch them in the face without getting fired.
7. I can have my dreds put back in! That's the best reason ever.
8. I won't have to work Christmas or New Years Eve.
9. I will be surrounded by people I love (Yeah I know, bleugh but true)
10. I will not have to kill anything and put it in a bag. That's the most depressing reason.
11. I will not have to see people's stupidity about their animals on a daily basis. Example: Me; "Aw cute puppy, can I take him round for the others to see?" Client; "No, he's nervous around other people" WTF??!! Of course he's nervous around other people you ignorant inbred. He's never going to socialise unless you let him! So now you've got a big dog who's scared of people and is going to display nervous aggression every time he encounters anyone new. Well done, you retarded piece of scrotal sack.

Of course holding this sort of anger and scorn for your fellow man in on a daily basis leeches any kind of goodness and empathy I have left in my soul which is pretty much the main reason I have to not nurse full time. I have reached my capacity of tolerance for idiots and fear that the next one I encounter will not live to stumble through another day which in turn will lead to me being fired and never being able to get another job because I will be in prison. I think the parents will just have to accept those reasons unless they want to visit me in a mental asylum.

To find out about Rick Jones click here!

To see my Ringo Meets article in Gallery click here

To see a picture of an angry seal click here