The most amazing weekend

Well, I've got to say that I've just had one of the best weekends ever. It started on Friday I went up to Durrell to watch a performance of the most Scotish of Scottish plays; Macbeth. It was hilarious! Which is no mean feat with one of Shakesperes darkest plays but Oddsocks pulls it off wonderfully with some fantastic Scottish accents and lots of audience participation which I love!

Then on Saturday I went to Jersey Fish Festival where I played on the small stage for about half an hour although I don't think many people were actually listening but Jersey Bob gave me a free gate pass and a pass to the hospitality tent which was a little bit awesome to be honest. I did feel like a bit of a fraud sat up there with all the proper musicians cos I still don't actually believe I'm that good. It still feels as though people are just being polite. A little bit like "Aw go on, let the lil window licker sing. She bought a guitar along, give her a go!" Still think people clap at the end as a relief that I've finished but anyhow it was still cool. They fed me crab and lobster and cheese and grapes and even gave me free wine so I just kept quiet about being an imposter and accepted it all very gratefully.

Living it up with the pirate dog in the hospitality suite!

It was in the VIP (ha ha) area that I met Dave. A musican with the greatest beard I've seen in a long time (I kept wanting to touch it but people think you're strange if you do that). Dave is from New Zealand so don't ask him what part of Australia he's from, he gets a little upset by that. He took some great shots of Ringo the pirate dog and we chatted for a while about inconsequential crap. I don't remember the details but he seemed like a nice guy.

Ringo had a great day too.....

He sat on the stage behind me while I played waiting patiently for me to throw his sock. I did explain that I was a little busy but he was having none of it. I actually think he got more attention than I did. Everyone walking past was like "mmm, singer? Oh look at the dog, isn't he cute, how adorable, what singer?"
Then splats of rain came so I finished up and went off to find the hospitality tent, dog in one hand, guitar in the other and I bump into Murray Norton; radio presenter and owner of one of the nicest resteraunts in Jersey.
He asks me if I'm going to perform and I tell him I've already done it and he says "oh that's a shame but we can talk to you anyway" so I say "sure" then stand around for a bit while he talks to someone chattering away in his ear (live on radio I presume) then we have a little chat and once again I do believe I came across like the village idiot because the pressure builds, the excitement rises, I become a rabbit in the headlights and can say.............



fuck all.

Well, I don't mean I said nothing and just stood there staring at him like a deaf mute, I mean that all that came out of my mouth may well have been jibbering nonsense but I don't know because when I came to out of my waking coma he was off down the pier to talk to the nutters launching themselves into the harbour with their homemade flying devices.
I shrugged it off womanfully and head off to find the hospitality tent and the free wine.
Oh and Ringo had a great day too playing with the kids and adults and a plastic cup. Who says you need expensive dog toys?!

SUNDAY!!!
On Sunday I woke up and did the obligatory facebook check and saw that mejulie said there was surf so I checked to see that they were Ally sized waves (ie not going to kill me sized waves) and went off to play in the water in my new wetsuit that I only just discovered fitted that morning as the last time I tried it on I was totally hungover and too feeble to do anything other than pull it just past my knees before collapsing in a dehydrated crumple on the living room floor.

So, bodyboard in hand (not graduated to proper surfboard yet) I went down to St Ouens hoping that the real surfers wouldn't laugh at me or kill me in a point break kind of way.
After surfing (well, I say surfing, I really just stand in the sea with a wetsuit and a board while the waves hit me) I go and collect my guitar from Ricks house as he very kindly took it home for me as I was getting too inebriated on free wine to walk home with it plus dog. It would have made life slightly more difficult.

I then realise that I hadn't thought things through very well. I mean, there it was, 1pm and I'm due to sing at 2.30pm at Regstock 4 and I have swallowed half the ocean and snorted the other half up my nose. Not in a "lets get high in a natural way" but in an "I've been battered by waves too big to be funny" kind of way. But I soldier on and get to Regs garden and do my thing while some nice hippy couple look after Ringo. Everyone was really nice and said it sounded goo (really???) but I'm still terrified and wondering if the audience would notice if I vomit up the fear and carry on regardless?

Anyway, Ringo and I stay the day and he makes loads of new friends by basically just barging up to people and demanding that they throw the ball for him and I sit there, lil billy no mates like some ugly sister who no one wants to dance with at the school disco. I reckon if he had a facebook page, he'd have way more friends than me in no time at all.

Oh, and it seems we have gone full circle too. Biker guy turned up in a silly hat (but we like silly hats) and once again I sat across the ampitheatre from him not saying anything and surreptitiously glancing  over at him when he wasn't looking and still too chicken to go and say hi. Although, if you've blown someone out, it's your job to go and say hi if you see them otherwise how do they know if they're still allowed to talk to you? If I went and said hi would he think that I was stalking him? I still like him cos I'm a twat and he seems to have been relegated to pushbike guy but that doesn't sound as good so the name stays. And he does look fit in his biking outfit.

Sigh.