Start the post with a massive cliche but it's what you say at new years so happy new year to nobody who reads this, wishing peace, love and harmony to all.
Actually my new year didn't have the most auspicious start. Went out to a club in my hometown and met up with friends, got completely anhiliated and wondered off with my new friend and my ex boyfriend at the end of the night leaving old friend (in time known, not age) to make her own way home. In all fairness I did text her to say come and find us cos I was proper wasted but she was drunk and emotional and told me that our friendship is over. Sad times. I know in real life I come across as not caring too much about this but it was actually pretty hurtful that she said that I was using her as I needed somewhere to stay. I mean obviously I needed somewhere to stay but would anyone pretend to be friends with someone for, what, a year and half just so they could crash at their house on new years eve?
I thought that's what friends did for each other but after apologising for any (unintentional) hurt caused apparentley there will be too much underlying resentment for us to be friends again. Her words not mine. So looks like I'm down two friends this year (her boyf is obviously going to take her side as well he should).
What about the ex I hear you ask?
Well voices in my head that is an excellent question; what about the ex? I get the impression that he would like to get back together and I have no idea if that is what I want at all. Admittedly I have been a bit of a cow bag and confused the issue slightly by ending up in his bed but do I really want to go backwards? Ok I admit these are just rhetorical questions and I actually do know the answer; No but sometimes it's nice to know that someone out there really cares for you and at what point do you say "ok, the love of my life has been delayed or he's just not coming so I'm going to give up waiting for him and settle for a nice man, a kind man. One who is not likely to bugger off with the neighbours dog walker or turn into a crazy stalker and ask to move in with you five minutes after you got together"
The crazy sunshine and roses part of me says never! You never stop waiting for your happy ever after. You never settle for second best and that everyone deserves to be with their true love (ok that was very disneyish but you know what I mean).
But then the monster in my head says actually there is no such thing as true love, you meet someone you can actually tolerate seeing everyday and stick with that person as that is the best it's going to get.
*sigh*
Maybe shouldn't blog when hungover- very meloncholy.
Good times though, I got a lovely new (reconditioned) laptop from the parentals for christmas so as soon as I pay my phone bill I can be hooked up to the magical webbernet once more and start talking to the people in my computer again yay!
Also it is much easier to blog when the notion gets you than trying to remember what you were going to say the next time you manage to get to a computer although I will run the risk of divulging the true depth of crazy if I start writing after a bottle of wine whilst feeling lonely and bored.
Farewell peeps and once again a happy new year
x
